montebello

I've been pretty down of late. I think it's the social isolation due to covid-19 but social isolation is not something new to me. I just don't get the point of life. My life revolves around sleep and work. I don't look forward to things, what is there to look forward to? I arrogantly think I can predict the future, at least regards to my personal life, since it's been so static for so long. I didn't get the job I applied to, and that was, rightly or wrongly, my attempt to break out of the rut of life, send my life down a theoretically different path. My current work isn't awful, but it's not great either, and I just don't meet people there. I've got acquaintance friends but no close friends and not going to meet a significant other there. Which leaves what paths forward? I don't know. I wish I had more friends and a girlfriend. Those seem so hard to achieve. I'm not sure how I did it years ago.

This is going to get really long, but maybe it's interesting.

( Dating is hard )