montebello

I keep meaning to post over here but I don't know how to stop it from turning into a whine festival.

Good news is that I have recovered my writing spark and am working on the website again. I wanted to add one new fact I learned about Napoleon to his biography and then I found myself enjoying editing it. I had a good six months there of not working on it at all, which is probably the longest I've gone without a single change. But now I once again looking forward to writing about the history and hopefully sharing it with others.

This is going to get really long, but maybe it's interesting.

( Dating is hard )

I don't know what to do about relationships. I don't understand what's different about me and everyone else.

( Read more... )

One of the things that has frustrated me for the past many years is the lack of a best friend. Not to discount my two furry felines who are best friends, and I have some really great friends, but once or twice or thrice upon a time I had friends who I could tell anything to. Do other people still have that? Maybe I am too jaded from getting hurt and some of my current friends would be candidates, but I don't know. Regardless, I miss having someone I can just talk to about things and not be judged on, whether they be good, or bad, or boring thoughts.

So maybe this place can be that. Of course it's the internet so there's plenty of judgmental assholes, but I think I am fairly anonymous here and unworthy of notice. Kinda weird how I can feel safer openly posting (of course some posts will be private) than just talking to some people, but you never know how they will react.

When I was back in therapy, the therapist asked me, "Why are you embarrassed about that?" And I responded, "People will judge me for it." And she said, "Would you judge someone for that?" and I replied, "Of course not." So maybe I am not giving people enough credit, but frankly she had far too rosy of glasses on as I have been judged on such things, and it sucked. C'est la vie.